Monday, April 25, 2011

This Weekend's Emotional Roller-Coaster Ride!

Hi Friends~

Did you all rejoice with His victory on Easter?  Did you weep with the thought of all that He went through for each of us when He obediently died on the cross on Good Friday?  Has it been a roller-coaster of emotions for you as it was for me?  I have no idea what "normal" is for these three days.  What I'd like to do is share how the days went for me.  And, I would like to invite you to share about your celebrations or emotions, or thoughts or your love and appreciation for Him in the comment section...or here in the post. (By emailing me the information.)  We are a community...a family...let's share with one another.

By the way...did I tell you I have never wanted to go on a roller-coaster?

I believe I told you that I have been preparing for Easter by reading each of the Gospels from about when Jesus was arrested through Good Friday...then from Good Friday until Easter, I read the Gospels from just before the Crucifixion through the Ascension.

"They spit on Him, and took the staff and struck Him on the head
 again and again.  Matthew 27:30 

Well, when Good Friday came, it hit me like it never has before.  I was feeling guilty and terrible sadness for all that Jesus went through for me. The mocking, the name calling, the spit in His face.  The stripes on His back.  One year, my Pastor explained a crucifixion in such detail--you would never forget it. He told it from the medical point of view.  What happens when your skin is tearing, when your muscles are ripping to shreds, when your organs start shutting down. He told every part of the horrific pain a person goes through when crucified.  Well, this led to my feeling guilty that I, (Thinking of myself only--the self-centered person I can be), was responsible for Him going through so much pain.  He who loves me more than imaginable.  He that doesn't go away when I do something wrong.  He who wants only the best for me...and the way He could give me the biggest gift...the gift of salvation, the gift of not having sin stick to me like cement, the gift of a close relationship with Him...with God...was to go through this immense pain...go to Hell...and die!  I felt like just lying on the ground in a ball.  This feeling pretty much stuck with me through the day.

I don't think this is a necessarily regular reaction. It could be that most people don't have as much free time to think on it.  Being disabled, needing to recline to help with my pain, being alone all day--most days...could have all added to the feeling.  And, with my back, leg, and neck pain hurting...who was I to complain...even to myself...look what He went through! Normal reaction?   I don't know.  Of course, I know the rest of the story...and that helped pull me out of this funky mood some time on Saturday.

Today is Easter Sunday!  Hallelujah!  I woke up, read each of the Gospel accounts from His resurrection until His ascension.  I love Easter!  I have never done the died eggs, or bunny ears...except when I wanted chocolate anyway!  But, growing up Jewish, we never did any of the Easter "commercial" or "religious" traditions. 

Jews celebrate Passover, which by the way, isn't the Jewish celebration for Easter, any more than Hanukkah is the celebration of Christmas.  Totally different holidays...all 4 of them!  (Except the Seder...the Passover meal-- is the Last Supper.)

"He is not here; He has risen just as He said."  Matthew 28:6
 I wanted to go to church today.  It has been so long!  I have a very difficult time sitting for that long in the car, then sit for the service, and then the ride home.  I would be out of commission for a week. However, I woke up with a migraine and serious back pain.  Fortunately, Dave, my still-Atheist husband, realized that we could watch the live broadcast from the computer...with it hooked up through the it was big enough to see.  And, my loving husband had a wonderful idea...he joined me through the entire service, except when we were standing, and I was singing on the top of my lungs.  I love the music!  It really makes my heart happy.  And, the words are all so meaningful.  It was a loving gift he had given being willing to go to the service, and by bringing the service to us...and if you are wondering...I was praying my heart out that Dave would ask Jesus into his heart as Lord of All.  He didn't.  I offered to pray with him, just in case he had...but not yet.  My prayers continue for my family...

Northland Church's link is located on the side bar.  They will be showing the amazing live broadcast on Monday evening as well.  And, it will be available by clicking on that link all during the week if you look on the right side of their newsletter where it says "Past 3 Services"...just click on the service you want to see and hear.  It was incredible. The sermon was even talked about elephants!  Now, aren't you interested in the service?  They praise Him, and sang about Him and to was so wonderful...I felt my heart would burst with happiness and gratitude.

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."  Matthew 28:19-20

I get so excited to see where people are living that visit the He IS Able blog.  I especially feel a great excitement when people live in areas where they "aren't supposed to be Christian."  We had people from so many countries join the was beautiful to see in itself.  Of course, they didn't use their names.  We pray for everyone who comes to this blog...and doesn't!  But, I especially pray for the people who can not be the open Christians they want to be--for fear of persecution.  Some of those people take risk by reading this blog.  Please join us as we pray for these people.  We will have another post on this topic at another time.

I have spent most of the rest of the day calling Dave's family members, and my sisters to wish them a Happy and Meaningful Easter!  One of my nephews started his life in the Navy this morning!  I am really praying for him and his family.  They are the closest knit full of love!  My son enlisted in the Air Force this week.  Please pray for us.  I was a wreck, as my close friends could attest, until I realized that I wasn't trusting in Him.  I wasn't trusting Him to keep Josh safe, and for Joshua to be Saved...hopefully before boot camp starts.  I wasn't trusting Him to keep me sane, while my 21 year-old son, my only baby, goes away for boot camp and then who-knows where for 4 years of our lives!  I wasn't trusting Him.  Period!  Exclamation Point!  I now have signs up in my art room, where I write this blog, and spend a lot of my time.  "I am trusting in You to __________."  And, I fill them in...there are so many.  It has given me a sense of peace.  So far I have managed not to grab Josh's situation out of His hands more than once...and I gave it back. They serve as great reminders that I don't need to be doing the worrying. Are you trusting Him?  After all that He has done for you...especially as you think about what this weekend was about...are you trusting in Him?  Perhaps make yourself a list...and write the sentence out each the positive form..."I am trusting..."  It helps.  Believe me, it helps.  Give it to God.  Let it go.  I am so glad you are here with us.  We really appreciate you!

He Is Risen!  For us.  Hallelujah!

He IS Able,
Traci Starkweather

p.s.  Just a reminder.  We will be giving away that amazing card (side bar) on Wednesday.  Anyone who leaves a comment will be eligible to win if randomly chosen!  Winner announced Wednesday!


  1. Hi Everyone!

    I wanted to clarify something. I am forever grateful for every person who has ever or will ever serve in our military.

    I was just stunned to find out my son was joining. Things felt a bit different when it was MY son...(and I know Josh is a gift to me...on loan if you will)...enlisting! I do hope everyone understands how it may feel different. I just wanted to clarify that!

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the Holy Days...however you would like.

    He IS Able,
    Traci S.

  2. Hi Traci! Your emotiional roller coaster is just as it should be really... "feeling" in our hearts the pain He went through for us is something we should never lose our sensitivity to.... but the joy and rejoicing in the hope we have because death could not hold Him is the very center of our hope and assurance of everlasting life! I'm so excited to read that you and your hubby both watched the service together!!! Keep praying!!!


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